frank o'hara always puts me in a funk. which is cool because i am in a funk, so i sought him out (.. just kidding, richard siken is my funk, not frank). tonight i realized maybe i should be worried about how much wine i consume, or why i need to consume it, or why i've done nothing but complain and hate everything around me for the last 12 days i've been here. here, chapter 5 of my life.

ANIMALS

Have you forgotten what we were like then     
when we were still first rate    
and the day came fat with an apple in its mouth            
it's no use worrying about Time    
but we did have a few tricks up our sleeves     
and turned some sharp corners           
the whole pasture looked like our meal     
we didn't need speedometers     
we could manage cocktails out of ice and water            
I wouldn't want to be faster     
or greener than now if you were with me O you     
were the best of all my days 

---

the rest of today, i do not want to talk about, i don't want to remember weeks or months or years from now when i wont understand this underlined meaning. i'll be curious, but there's nothing worth remembering here, olivia.

ps; i loved how today you said "i told you not to go to new york, and you did. i told you not to go to europe, and you did. i told you not to move to los angeles, and you did." -- do you realize, that at my age, including the rest of the states and cities and caverns, i have traveled and lived and seen more than people double my age? i have, i have, i have. i am full of fucking stories at only 25.